I have not updated the blog much since I originally wrote it. But right now, there is a lot of 'scuttle' about the Harvey Weinstein scandal. And, be assured, it is a scandal, but not only for him. I've been thinking a lot about the women who are now coming out of the woodwork in Hollywood, and telling their tale and the reasons they kept quiet. Some I believe, some I don't.
The biggest reason, it seems, that women, some who were very young women when they had encounters with Harvey Weinstein, never said anything about what happened, is because they were driven by 'fame and fortune'...what a cliche...but that's what it was. Some have written that they 'whored themselves out'. Well, maybe. They absolutely had stars in their eyes. Many now say they did nearly unspeakable things to stay in the loop, and were promised that big things would come their way...and for many, that did happen. So, what do we call it, then? As they say, 'it is what it is'.
BUT, I have also read some interesting articles written by men who had befriended Harvey Weinstein and had watched this behavior. Although some are saying that they were simply caught up in it, in their younger years, so they looked the other way, even though they KNEW that many women were bribed and paid extremely well for the 'services' they provided for Weinstein, and they knew it was abusive and belittling behavior. However, they also realize, now that they have lived a few more years and have grown into respectable producers or writers, that they have regrets, as many of us do, as we age.
They claim that everybody knew what was going on for so many years, but because they were just as star stricken as the women, and because they accepted the gifts, expensive trips and introductions to other 'powerful' people, they just ignored the nastiness. Doesn't make it right, but at least they are owning up.
Ok...with all of that getting sorted out, here are some things that I don't understand:
People still don't want to talk about this kind of thing. There are countless women, who at some point in their lives (many that I know) have been harassed, humiliated, abused (to some degree) bullied, groped, or ____ fill in the blank here, because there are many more disgusting ways that women and girls have been manipulated.
Where are the self proclaimed 'nasty women', who proudly wore pink hats, representing female genitalia (and, yes, that IS what it represented, even though many people tried to put a spin on that and say it wasn't...eye roll...) and marched with signs proclaiming that they stood for women and the rights they don't have in this country? (I'm still trying to figure out what those are) Where are the women wearing 'vagina costumes' who screamed at the top of their lungs that THEY are tired of being brought down? (nothing says 'I'm a woman with no rights' than a blabbermouth sticking her face through a 'giny' that covers her from head to toe)
By the way, I've included a part of a 'NOTE' I wrote on my Facebook page here when these marches happened. I got scolded, by the way, by a few people, who promptly 'unfriended' me there, presumably over this. I wrote:
"Not once, in my entire life, did I think it necessary to riot, to put a stupid pink hat on that is supposed to resemble female anatomy, (not sure what that reasoning is, there really isn’t any...and I do know what they THINK it’s saying, but save it...it says nothing) or worse yet, to dress up in a big pink ‘giny’ costume (s’cuse me, but there’s just no other nice way to say it) with my face sticking through it, or do any other vulgar or disgusting thing to ‘make a stand’, to throw bricks at cops or other people, to break windows of Starbucks, to wear female sanitary things on my ears (gross) or to tell my 10 year old kid it was ok, and as a matter of fact, that he SHOULD burn an American Flag and then yell, “SCREW ____” Fill in the blank to whomever won the election, if it was someone that I didn’t vote for. I’ve never had the urge to scream obscenities at other people, destruct their property, or threaten them in any way. I’ve never been inclined to find an organization that would pay me to carry their cookie cutter signs (and then not even know why I was really even there) in order to simply be disruptive, for whatever their agendas were...especially if I had no true convictions of my own. I’m ashamed of, and embarrassed for, many that I see who are showing their asses."
(Some of this was directed at the rioting that was going on in some parts of the country at the time)
Here is my simple point about the Harvey Weinstein scandal and these same women...WHERE ARE THEY NOW? They screamed for women's rights, but the same ones who were on a platform then, are turning their backs on women now! What the hell!?!
Speaking of Facebook, there was a 'drive' recently for women who have been harassed or attacked at some point in their lives, to show solidarity, and how widespread it is. The idea was to simply put 'Me too' as a Facebook status. I did that, and many of my friends did, too. I had no idea about them. I am truly sorry for any of my friends who have gone through any kind of humiliation like this. But, my point is, people STILL don't want to deal with it. 2 or 3 people even acknowledged that I put 'Me too' as my status, and that's all. People still look the other way. I tried to acknowledge every one of my friends who I saw the same status from. It's important.
And, to be clear, I am not implying at ALL, that the women in the Hollywood case are completely at fault. However, circumstances between what happened out there in LaLa Land and what happens to us 'every day' women, are so different. In their cases, the women who were seeking the 'fame and fortune', put up with the terrible behavior because they were promised and bribed.
Everyday women, including me, may have been stalked, threatened, bullied, and shamed into being quiet. In my case, it would have been his word over mine, and he was a predominant man in our little town. (however, I'm sure his ridiculous friends knew, but they didn't say anything.) I was still really a little girl, as I look back now. In my teens, but innocent and naïve, and felt there was no place to turn. Nobody could be trusted.
However, the humiliation for ALL women who go through this is very real. It changes who we are, and how we deal with other things in life as we age. We learn to never trust anyone with our secret, often because when we do turn to someone in confidence, they break that trust. And, for me, they get that one shot. If they blow it, I will never open up to them again, even if they apologize.
More later...maybe.
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